The Schloegel Family Empire

Frank Schloegel III owns Southside Patio and Wood Company and co-owns Woodyard BBQ both located at 3001 Merriam Lane, Kansas City, SK 66106. He also owns Dental Care 50 and Rockhill Distribution Company located at 912 East 63rd Street, Kansas City, MO 64110. He owns both locations as well as his own home and a farm in Centerview, MO. All of these properties have constant problems that are solved by one of Frank's family or friends who may or may not know what they are doing.

Company Bios

Woodyard BBQ

Woodyard was started on the site of Southside Patio and Wood Company (in actuality by Jeff Scott, Frank 3's son-in-law) just 10 or 15 years ago. Jeff has actual restaurant experience and developed the rub and the general taste of the restaurant. People have been cooking BBQ at Southside forever, it used to be just a giveaway at lunch but my dad likes to trade BBQ for stuff (see bio below) so he was always cooking for something. So he decided to start a restaurant to put his never work a day in his life son-in-law, Jeff, to work. That did not last that long as Jeff could not stand the fact that my dad would always come over late and mess up the kitchen and leave dirty meat on his clean slicer. So Jeff quit and bought a sail boat and took my sister and his 3 kids down the Missouri River until they got to Belize (see bio below). But he has to come back every summer to work for money. Woodyard has had many "partners" which are people my dad tricks into working there in exchange for ownership but rarely is anything signed. At present we actually do have a high quality partner. His name is Ciaran Molloy and he has owned bars and seems to have assembled some people who can do dishes, which will really cut down on the drama around the place. The pit master is Mark, who is my dad's cousin. He started out delivering firewood and dirt for Southside but after Jeff quit and the next pit master got in a car accident (who was also not a pit master but a bar tender) Mark had to fill in and the next thing you know he is the pit master for a few years. Woodyard is now operating as a pretty successful restaurant. It also operates as a catering company, which is much more adventurous because my dad has to be involved and makes everything complicated. Woodyard makes its own sauce and something called "Frankwurst" which is sausage made with Woodyard smoked bacon. We sell that through Rockhill Distribution Company (see bio for the details on how that does not work). Theresa, my sister, works here as a food runner, as does her daughter Sal and probably her son Waylon, but he should probably stack wood. There are plans to open up a location closer to my parents house that will be staffed entirely by Jeff and Theresa and their children. But there are a lot of plans. For example, my dad wants to build a big smoke house on the property and put windows so people will be able to look inside (And see what? Smoke?). Ciaran has retired and now the place is run by Frank’s grandson Oscar Scott and his son Frank 4.

Southside Patio and Wood Company (known as Southside):

Southside presently sells smoking woods to BBQ restaurants by the cord and home cooks by the bag. We also sell bricks and arrange for Jeff (Frank's son-in-law) and Jeff (Frank's nephew) to do brick patios (they drink while they work). Southside was founded in 1912 (maybe) by Frank Schloegel the first, as a coal yard. Coal became wood and gasoline over the years, with Frank 2 doing the wood and his brothers Robert and Carl doing the gas. The gas station is no longer around. Frank 2 moved the coal yard to its present location. Frank 2 was famous for selling something to everyone that called. He had 2 phones before anyone else and he would put people on hold to get his "catalogue" and just call someone other store, add 25% and sell it. Under his leadership Southside sold everything from statuary and dirt to gravel and sand and bricks - along with wood. As time went on and no one was really around to do any landscaping and patio work, the wood took over and then became the Woodyard BBQ restaurant. We now sell firewood and smoking woods. Our drivers are crazy people, generally, or relatives. Right now the main driver is Anthony. He is a 50 something year old very hard worker who has many personal problems that derive manly from his drug and alcohol use, but my dad is very generous with people willing to work for less than 4 hours a day. My dad also does deliveries of small amounts when he can't get anybody to work. I also deliver wood as does Mark, the pitmaster. Southside also delivers bags of wood to local liquor stores and hardware stores and should do a better job of getting out and trying to get our product into more stores. My dad claims he sells something everytime he walks into any store, but he can't deliver it because he has to pick up his grandson from school.

Rockhill Distribution Company:

This is a company that has never actually done anything, but my dad wants it to be the company that distributes the Sauce, Rub, Frankwurst, bagged wood and any other product he dreams up. We tried to get the Frankwurst into some grocery stores but they told us we had to rent a space at a warehouse for $5,000. So that got put on the back burner. We do have a pretty good logo. As part of this operation my father is trying to put an "industrial kitchen" in the basement of 912 East 63rd. My cousin Kasey and her boyfriend did the demolition. I'm pretty sure it was all asbestos tiles, so they got some nice masks. The kitchen now has a floor but nothing else. My cousin Dave put in the floor.

Dental Care 50:

DC50 is a little company that is staffed by Frank 4 and my mother Michele. We operate out of a small office in the building we own at 912 East 63rd. It is basically dental insurance but it does not make a lot of money. My wife and Mother want me to focus on this business as it is normal and sort of respectable, but my father always has some crisis that needs tending to so I spend a bit more time on Southside/Woodyard than I should. And it's my family legacy to continue on Southside. But, Dental Care 50 deals with the taxes and finances of all the companies. Dental Care 50 looks into advertising and then ends up getting something for Woodyard. So it's all related.

Personal Bios

Frank Schloegel III, age 72, is the idea man.

Frank is the ultimate wheeler and dealer. He trades BBQ for anything he possibly can, including, but not limited to, Pizza, Cowboy apparel, pastries, flowers, frozen custard and Italian food. He loves to trade and everywhere he goes he likes to give out food and tell people about Woodyard BBQ. He does not actually cook or do anything for Woodyard he just walks around selling. His car is a catastrophe. It is filled with raw meat regardless of the weather; he carries a gym bag and he smokes cigars which he ashes into an actual ceramic ashtray. And he is in charge of recycling the glass so there are almost always a huge amount of empty beer bottles in the back seat.

Frank was born and raised in Kansas City. He attended the seminary out of high school and completed training to become a Catholic priest. He chose to marry his neighbor and life-long girl friend Michele and have children. They moved to Canada where Frank studied Philosophy and managed the campus bar and grill. In 1976 the family moved back to Kansas City and now included Heidi, Theresa and Frankie (Frank 4, aka me).

Frank then joined the family business. They created a crack sealant and generally focused on brick laying and landscaping. In 1983 he started a dental insurance company with his roommate at the Seminary who had actually become a priest and then left the priesthood. Frank took over Southside when his father died in 1986. He sold the insurance company in 2001 and focused on the Woodyard.

Frank is known as being extremely generous - possibly to a fault. He has a few people that live off his generosity, including a huge former wood delivery guy, who is African American and lives in a pretty rough part of town and Frank drives over there regularly to drop off food and money (he died recently). There is also a crazy red neck woman who used to answer the phone at Southside for whom he bought a house out in the country. His charity work is too complicated to explain in full detail, but needless to say it is complicated and all his own fault for being so.

His upcoming plans include a beer garden, a smoke house, an industrial kitchen, an outdoor location open only on Sundays, holiday boxes, sausage in every grocery store or at every bar, Spanish language dental plan, Spanish language sausage and sauce, bagged wood, planting an apple orchard, a Woodyard Mustard, and getting Woodyard to profitable and/or paying rent (Woodyard is now doing very well).

He had some sort of heart attack in December of 2012 that he believes was a misunderstanding and not really a heart attack at all and he vows never to go into a hospital again.

Frank Schloegel IV

Frank was born and raised in Kansas City. He moved to New York in 1998 and returned after his dad had a heart attack to help manage the empire in December 2012. In Brooklyn he was a stay at home dad while his wife, Dawn, worked for the NYC Dept. of Health. They have a 6 year old girl, Louise, and a boy, Frank 5, who is now 3, but goes by name Quin. Frank 4 completed Law School but has never practiced, because he could not get a job (another reason for his return). He is licensed to practice in MO and NY, but his main job is to follow up on all his father’s ideas and plans, but he does not do a very good job because his wife is always needing him to do something or the other - and he drinks too much.

Oscar, Sal and Waylon Scott

Oscar, Sal and Waylon were all born at a birthing center and home schooled. They grew up mostly on a boat going from Kansas City to the gulf and Belize. Oscar moved in with Frank and Michele to attend Rockhurst High School (the Jesuit all boy high school). He loves football and working out and wrestling. He just started College Football at Bethany College in some tiny town in KS.

Sal is 16 and beautiful and has very rich friends from school. She gets straight A grades. She does not have a boyfriend and is very mature.

Waylon, 13, plays video games all the time. And I have seen children flock around him when he used to play minecraft. He used to carry a set of dice and a stack of 1 dollar bills in his pocket to play craps. He and Frank had an ongoing game that occurs all the time, any time. He is stupid lucky. He also is a very picky eater. He likes bacon and sugar and chocolate milk. He likes a boiled egg where the middle is just a little bit runny. He is totally charming.

They have grown up great.

The Hynes Family

Heidi (Schloegel) (God Rest Her Soul) and Brian Hynes live in Bronx, NY. They are uber liberals. Brian just got out of jail for protesting something – probably the Guantanamo situation but could be something else. They come back once or twice a year to make a mess of everything. Like trying to make the BBQ restaurant go organic. They normally stop by on their way to and from the Rainbow gathering which is just the biggest hippy thing you can imagine. We love them.

The Restaurant Staff: The staff is professional and also constantly changing and growing. It is a typical staff. They do not like the meddling of the Schloegel Family or Frank’s hair brained schemes or all the people who come by claiming they “trade” with Frank. It exhausts them.

Text